feedback

i think as a whole most people are pretty bad at feedback. i don't know why but i find that the people i work with are horrible at giving both positive and negative feedback. this is stupid. shouldn't it feel nice to give someone a compliment? and shouldn't negative feedback be given so we all are aware of our weaknesses and have the ability to work on them?

recently, i got report from a new grad. she's been a nurse on my unit for less than 4 months. but her report at the end of her shift is superb. she paints a perfect picture for me so that there are no surprises when i walk into my patient's room. i know what is going on and feel prepared for my day. not to mention, loose ends are taken care of. the room is stocked, my patient is comfortable, charting is complete. all in all, it's great to pick up a patient from her. so i told her. and i hope i made her day - gave her a bit of self-confidence and motivation to keep working hard.

last week, i called an attending and asked if i could give her some feedback. let's get some things straight here. attendings are head honchos. they have been doctors for years and have worked their way up the ladder. they are in charge of other physicians; considered experts in their fields. but that doesn't mean they are perfect! and it certainly doesn't mean they are exempt from feedback. but my guess is that attendings don't get feedback very often, let alone from a nurse. but i called to tell her that i felt that as a patient's nurse i should be included in discussions of prognosis and family conferences. she had just told my patient that her cancer is VERY aggressive and there are no more options for her. in essence, she told my patient she was going to die - soon. but she didn't have the thoughtfulness or the decency or the foresight to include me or recognize that i would be walking in to the tears and the questions and the what-if scenarios. she didn't take to my feedback very well. she said, "are you new around here?" as if only a new nurse would be so stupid as to question an attending.

yesterday i received feedback. and it felt great. i've been caring for this patient for the last three days. she is an experienced oncology nurse. and although that heightens my anxieties about doing things perfectly, i cared for this patient as i care for all of my patients. and as i said goodbye last night, she said in a serious tone, "you really are a fabulous nurse!" when you work really hard and invest more than just your time and energy, sometimes your whole heart, positive feedback recharges you in a way that keeps you going.