garden hoses

WARNING: this is crass and hilarious!

on monday, i answered the call light of a patient i have never met. i was trying to be helpful. but when you answer another nurse's call light, you never know what you're gonna get. when i was a brand new nurse, i never wanted to answer call lights. i was always so nervous that i wouldn't be able to handle the situation i walked into or answer the questions asked. but seven years later, i feel like i can manage most things. or at least know when i am in over my head.

this time, i walked in on an overweight gentleman profusely sweating. he was pacing around the room and looked pretty uncomfortable. i noticed that his IV pole had many bags of fluid hanging - some of which were actually connected to his foley catheter. just by assessing his IV pole, i knew that the man was receiving bladder irrigation. i know that people who require bladder irrigation for blood clots that form in their bladder and thus clot their urethra need LARGE foley catheters, not unequal to a garden hose. i would recognize the waddle from miles away (imagine walking with a garden hose coming out of your urethra. yup, OUCH!). but i didn't really expect the answer i got to my question: "what can i do for you? you look uncomfortable."

the patient said in an angry, serious voice, "of course i am uncomfortable. i have a forty pound dick!"

as a new nurse, i would have blushed and scurried about the room. trying to help him get situated. offering to call his nurse or physician.

but now, i laughed and said, "i don't think any man wants one that big, huh?"

oh come all ye faithful

today i cared for a woman on comfort care. she had been transitioned to comfort care yesterday because her prognosis is poor. but strangely, the team of medical professionals doesn't know EXACTLY what's going on with her. they cannot REALLY explain her decline. yes she has HHV6 in her cerebrospinal fluid. and yes her scans show substantial changes to her gray and white matter in her brain. but we cannot explain away WHY this happened.

but the WHY plays no part in how i care for my patient. and so, i did my very best this morning to make her comfortable and ensure her safety. i had been told that she was fairly unresponsive; that sometimes she says yes or no. but that her responses were not reliable. but i continued to talk, to explain what i was doing. and when i was done with her bedbath, i decided to tidy her room. now that our goals of treatment had shifted, there were things i could remove. and ALWAYS, ALWAYS there are things to straighten, dispose of, recycle, and organize. which the OCD in me enjoys. so i indulged...

my tidying revealed a CD player and christmas CDs. i decided to put one in. the first one was VERY peppy and almost felt inappropriate for the situation. so i changed it instantly to something more appropriate. christian christmas carols. the very first song to come on was "oh come all ye faithful." and although i haven't been to church in years and christmas has lost some of its meaning for me in the spiritual sense, i knew every word. and to my surprise, so did my patient. my dying, very sick, confused and nearly unresponsive patient began to sing. i felt flabbergasted. and amazed. touched. and saddened. and so, i sat with my patient, held her hand, and despite having a not-so-beautiful singing voice, sang every word to the entire song with her, for her, and to her.

visits at work

i don't know about other people's jobs. but mine is pretty inflexible. if i have a doctor's appointment, even if it's at 7:45 in the morning, i have to call in sick for a 12 hour day. or, if i need to pick up a friend at the airport, i have to make them take a taxi. i'm not aloud to come and go on a work day. i can't have a lunch break and go grab a bite at a local place. it's kind of a bummer. and makes work isolating and a bit inconvenient at times.

that's why when people visit me, it makes my ENTIRE day! it breaks up the 12 hours and makes work feel manageable. visits happen infrequently. but boy when they do, i LOVE it! sometimes my dad pops his head around the corner after he's gotten a blood draw. and to make the visit last longer, if i'm not busy, i walk him to the parking garage. fun, huh? it might not sound exciting, but it's the BEST. i feel so loved.

this sunday, a friend called and offered not only to stop by for a visit, but also, to deliver me my favorite coffee from my favorite coffee shop. what a friend! she even knows my drink by heart. and to avoid embarrassing myself, let's just say, it's not a simple drink. THAT is a good friend. seeing emma at the front desk made me smile. and having the opportunity to sit and chat with her for AN HOUR was the icing on the cake (not to mention, i got paid to hang out with one of my favorite people.... shhhh!).

it didn't even matter that the last two hours of my shift were crazy. i was caffeinated. and i felt loved...

thank you emma!