ugh.
his health is so complicated. it's so volatile. like he lives on a teeter totter, and only if perfectly balanced, does he feel ok. never great, but okay.
so, after 16 hours of work on sunday, and what was supposed to be a 12 hour shift on monday, my work day got cut short so i could meet my parents in the ER at 4:30 PM. dad had had some shortness of breath on his typical morning walk and neck pain that i didn't like the sound of. so, after a mini mental breakdown in my manager's office, i left my unit in a heartbeat (something that is intrinsic and so easy for me, and yet requires medications, effort, and that fine balance for my dad) and spent the rest of my day in the company of my family.
i could write pages and pages about my dad's health. about the dumb residents who suck at their job and ask questions like, "if you died right now would you want us to pound on your chest?" (these were her words, seriously!?! they don't teach hard conversations well in med school, apparently). or about the doctors that don't like to believe a patient's daughter, especially when she is in hospital scrubs, even though i was right about his heart rhythm without even seeing the EKG that they struggled to read. i won't talk about the anxiety and the fear we all have that one day this won't end well.
instead, i want to talk about how special my family is. how much i love their company. even in the hospital. actually, especially in the hospital. as crazy as it sounds, it's the only time the four gadola's hang out - just my mom, dad, corina, and i. typically, we have a cohen or emerson in the mix, or my goofy brother-in-law, and sometimes, to really spice things up, joanie joins us on family gatherings. but it's rarely just US. and WE are good. my mom thinks that corina and i don't get along. she worries that one day we won't support each other in times of need. but we prove her wrong every time we do this UW cardiology thing. every hospital stay, we unite. we eat grilled cheese sandwiches in the cafeteria. we sit by dad's hospital bed and make all of the white coats laugh during rounds. we put bobby pins in each other hair and pick blackheads (this is true love).
we gadola's we're pretty special.
my dad got out of the hospital on wednesday night (i worked thursday and friday). after his "tune up," he feels a little better. and i am so thankful. but i'm also thankful for time to be with the ones we love. for family. for mine.
