laundry detergent

as i walked in to work today, before i could even settle in, before i had even talked to anyone, the charge nurse accosted me and said, "christa, do you wear perfume?"  as if i wear perfume!  before i could answer, more questions followed.  "do you use tide, kirkland brand detergent, or dryer sheets?"  huh?!?  seriously?!?  did i shower?  might i have hairspray in?  scented lotions?  do i wear deoderant?  really?!?  a patient wants her nurse to NOT wear deoderant.  yes i use kirkland brand detergent; it's cheap.  and i am cheap.

anyway, i was assigned a patient who is extremely sensitive to smells.  one look at her allergy list had me almost chuckling.  seriously, who is allergic to prednisone?  or benadryl?  both medications used to treat allergic reactions.

i guess i've been a nurse for too long.  because instead of being sensitive and accommodating, i kind of laughed, called the patient a freak, and decided to lie.  it may not be one of my finer moments.  but seriously, WHO on my unit doesn't wear deoderant?  i think there's one girl (and she smells horribly) but that doesn't qualify her as the best nurse for this crazy patient.  nope.  somehow it qualified ME!  even though i use kirkland brand detergent.  and decided to LIE!
when i walked into her room, before i could even introduce myself, i got a "stop right there.  before you get any closer.  put your hands up!"  well, i didn't get the "put your hands up" part.  but the rest of it i got.  "what detergent do you use?" to which i replied, "some organic brand i cannot recall the name of."  BINGO!  "oh, i think we'll get along fine then."

and we did.  my kirkland brand detergent didn't make my patient cough or sneeze.  nor did my dove deoderant.  or my cheap tresemme hairspray.  in fact, my patient was discharged today.  and i got a hug!  she got close enough to smell my lunch (which she interrupted) and didn't complain about my garlic breathe or my detergent!

prayers

i said something today at work that i haven't said in a VERY long time. maybe ever. i told a patient that i would pray for her. i haven't prayed in years (despite 15+ years of catholic school). but i found myself saying, "i will pray for you tonight, that your body makes new cells and that your pain goes away." the words slipped out of my mouth before i could process what they meant or why they came out. but as i left her room and reflected, i thought to myself, "if i would pray for anyone, i would pray for V."

V has been my patient for the last three days. my first day with her, i wasn't a good nurse. V speaks little bits of english; her first language is spanish. and for some reason, i felt intimidated. maybe lazy. i don't know. but without communication, nursing is challenging. and i didn't do a good enough job. yesterday though, i worked harder. i wanted to go home proud of the work i had done. and so, i got us an interpreter. i scheduled a meeting with her german speaking physician (too many esl people in the same room can be a riot!). we discussed pain management and made changes to all of her medications. V felt a little better at the end of my shift, and so did i. but today was the best of all. i thought of all the little things. the prescription chapstick for her dry lips. the wet wipes for her sore hiney. i ordered her a commode chair. and delivered attends (AKA adult diapers). when we spoke, i squatted at the edge of her bed so our faces were eye to eye. and eventually, i wound up sitting in her bed, hand on her back, soothing her as she vomited. when i said goodbye this evening, V put her hand on my head (as if in blessing). and without words, she acknowledged my hard work and thanked me for my presence. what a special moment!

V is 51 years old. she is here from puerto rico to receive treatment. she is an educated woman. a minister in her church. but more important than the details, she is human. and she is suffering. and she is kind. and deserving of love. and prayers.

flabbergasted

i'm a bit flabbergasted.

i got called into the principal's office today.  well, not really.  the manager's office.  but i felt like i was getting in trouble.  and i don't like it one bit!

in the last year, two nurses have been investigated on our unit for possible narcotic diversion.  and neither works on our unit now.  interestingly enough, the rumor mill tells me that both nurses who were investigated and asked to leave were in fact innocent.  rumor has it their urine and hair samples came back negative.  but drugs have definitely gone missing.    

in fact...

there have been more than 87 incidences with oxycodone in the last year.  there are inappropriate removals of the common street drug from 33 different nurses on our unit (that's more than 1/3 of or staff).  and to my horror and dismay, i am one of those nurses.  some person on my unit has stolen medications under my name.

Source: funnypk.com via Nancy G on Pinterest

 

this is how it works.  i log into pyxis (where all of our medications are dispensed) with my fingerprint.  when i am done, i press exit.  however, if i forget to press exit, my login remains open for 60 seconds.  in those 60 seconds (before i am logged out), any person can remove medications under what looks like my bio-id.  we have access to all the patients on the floor and to their entire medication profile.  so, even though i am taking care of patient A and patient B, i can remove medication for patient Z.

last november, under my bio-id, SEVEN doses of oxycodone were taken.  they were removed from three different patients, none of whom were my patients that day.  there was never a discrepancy noted in the narcotic count, because whoever stole the medications "counted" them accurately.  they simply never gave the doses.  somehow, this has been happening for almost a year.  and just NOW, our unit is sleuthing and attempting to find the thief.

the thought of me pilfering narcotics almost made me laugh.  i had to tell my manager in all seriousness that there is NO WAY i would take oxycodone.  i don't even drink.  i won't take benadryl.  and i think caffeine is a mood altering drug (one i indulge in frequently...).  but nonetheless, i wouldn't handle oxycodone well!

F*%#! off

last saturday was one of the weirdest shifts i have ever worked.  i wish i had written about it then.  my blood was boiling.  but after working 12.5 hours, i went to bumbershoot until 11:30PM, stayed up until 12:45AM, and went back to work on sunday at 7AM.  the remainder of the week has flown by.  so here i am, home alone on a saturday night, ready to re-hash just a small part of the drama.

are you ready for this?

on friday, saturday, and sunday of last week, i was precepting a new grad.  she was completing her last three shifts of a six week orientation.  and although some new nurses still requires lots of hand holding and are, what i would consider, scary nurses, this new nurse ROCKS!  she is timely, can multi-task, asks appropriate questions, and time manages well.  she was a dream to precept.  hence, my three shifts with her were a piece of cake for me.  i did NOTHING.  literally.  i played on the internet, made lists, did some personal planning and made phone calls.

until 4:45PM on saturday when i had to step in and stand up to my assistant nurse manager who wanted to give my new orientee a FIFTH patient.

i feel like, unless you are a nurse on my unit, most people wouldn't understand the ridiculousness of this suggestion.  there are too many reasons to list why this is a horrible idea.  i will note just a few:

-  no nurse on my unit EVER cares for five patients in one day
-  the assistant nurse manager was not in charge on saturday and had NO clue what was going on
-  my orientee had already discharged two patients in the day and still had two others
-  new orientees NEVER have more than two patients per shift (unless your preceptor thinks you're a rockstar and asks for a harder assignment - but NOT five patients)

when asked if she could handle it, the new grad looked at me, and said rather hesitantly, "i guess so."  but she doesn't understand how the floor works.  she doesn't know that five patients in one day is inappropriate, especially for a new nurse.  she didn't know that there were other nurses on the floor who were less busy and had only had 2 patients ALL day long.  she didn't know (or feel comfortable) standing up for herself and saying she would rather NOT get an admit at 5:30PM.

so i did.  i told the assistant nurse manager that new grad girl would not take an admit.  that she couldn't.  that she was asking too much of her.  that as her preceptor, i was looking out for her.  but the nurse manager wouldn't listen to me.  she kept saying, "christa, i didn't ask you.  i asked a_ _ _ _ _ ."  she spoke to me in a condescending tone.  and despite my rebuttals, kept demanding that new grad girl take the admit.  after awkward discussion in the hall, the nurse manager left me fuming and headed to tell the charge nurse that my new orientee would indeed take a FIFTH patient.

i can't describe how disrespected i felt.  how demeaned.  and belittled.  and i couldn't stand for it.  so, i resumed the conversation at the nurse's station, in front of the secretary, the charge nurse, and my colleagues.  we started duking it out, in public, until it was suggested that we take our "conversation" elsewhere, to somewhere more private.

i won't describe the 20 minute conversation we had.  but suffice it to say, i stood up for myself and what i believe in with all my strength.  i am stubborn ALWAYS; but when i know i am right, i won't budge.  and i didn't.

my assistance nurse manager knew i was angry, upset, frustrated, irate... and so, for some weird reason, she asked me if i wanted to tell her to F&%# off!  i am not joking.  my assistance nurse manager, an elder, and person in leadership on my unit, asked if i would feel better if i told her to F&@! off.  she was trying to bully me, to get me to act unprofessional, because up until then, i hadn't.  but instead of caving and doing what she wanted me to do (so she could get me in trouble), i laughed at her.  told her i had some professionalism.  and would never do such a thing.  at work.  or in my person life.  i may swear.  but i don't tell people to F?%! off.

period.

end of story.