prayers

i said something today at work that i haven't said in a VERY long time. maybe ever. i told a patient that i would pray for her. i haven't prayed in years (despite 15+ years of catholic school). but i found myself saying, "i will pray for you tonight, that your body makes new cells and that your pain goes away." the words slipped out of my mouth before i could process what they meant or why they came out. but as i left her room and reflected, i thought to myself, "if i would pray for anyone, i would pray for V."

V has been my patient for the last three days. my first day with her, i wasn't a good nurse. V speaks little bits of english; her first language is spanish. and for some reason, i felt intimidated. maybe lazy. i don't know. but without communication, nursing is challenging. and i didn't do a good enough job. yesterday though, i worked harder. i wanted to go home proud of the work i had done. and so, i got us an interpreter. i scheduled a meeting with her german speaking physician (too many esl people in the same room can be a riot!). we discussed pain management and made changes to all of her medications. V felt a little better at the end of my shift, and so did i. but today was the best of all. i thought of all the little things. the prescription chapstick for her dry lips. the wet wipes for her sore hiney. i ordered her a commode chair. and delivered attends (AKA adult diapers). when we spoke, i squatted at the edge of her bed so our faces were eye to eye. and eventually, i wound up sitting in her bed, hand on her back, soothing her as she vomited. when i said goodbye this evening, V put her hand on my head (as if in blessing). and without words, she acknowledged my hard work and thanked me for my presence. what a special moment!

V is 51 years old. she is here from puerto rico to receive treatment. she is an educated woman. a minister in her church. but more important than the details, she is human. and she is suffering. and she is kind. and deserving of love. and prayers.