i cared for a psychologist the last two days. at first, i thought he was nice. we had a thing or two in common. he's a hiker and climber, a member of the mountaineers. but after spending just a short amount of time with him, i realized this man is a control freak. i am too. i appreciate straight lines and tidy hand-writing. if given the choice, i prefer doing things MY way. but i don't believe i mistreat people because i am particular. i know i respect other folks who do things for me. i say thank you in a genuine tone when someone makes me my coffee or bags my groceries.
that was not the case yesterday.
this man HAD been very sick. he was admitted for acute renal and liver failure related to a new diagnosis of lymphoma. he had nearly died just a few weeks ago, hooked up to machines, getting dialysis. in the blink of an eye, he lost his independence. but just as quickly, he began to improve. by the time i met him on thursday, he was just using a walker to ambulate. but otherwise, he had regained most of his strength. i do not know what his baseline personality was like, but his current personality is royally F%&**$#d up.
just some examples:
he asked me to tie his shoes. so i did. then he proceeded to say, "you know, normally i tie the loops a little bit tighter." i asked if the shoes were too loose, if he felt like he would trip. he said, "no, i just tie the loops in a tighter knot, so they don't untie." WTF? i really wanted to say, "you know, i've been tying my own shoes since i was four; i think i've got this covered!"
when he asked me for assistance in the shower, i agreed to walk him to the shower bench and to take off his compression hose. they are a challenge. but i was not about to help an independent 60 year old man bathe. sorry. i draw the line. i agreed to standby, in his room, tidying his linens, so that i could help him dry his feet off (a task he may actually not be able to do independently). but when he called for me and i entered the bathroom, he was sitting naked, with a washcloth on his junk. once again, WTF? his hands work. why the hell didn't he put on his own gown? gross!!!
just another example, i'd get him all situated in bed, call light in reach, water bottle in hand. then i'd ask if he needs anything else and he would say "no, you're such a good nurse. i have everything i need." within 7 minutes, he'd call again and say, in a gross, commanding, dominating voice, "could you increase the heat, just the slightest bit!" i would do that. and leave ASAP. but without fail, he'd call again, in less than 15 minutes for another irritating chore. i swear to god, he just wanted me in his room all day, waiting on him hand and foot. i don't get paid enough for that!
i'm embarrassed to admit it. but i am reading fifty shades of grey. it's a horrible book, promoting the concept of women as submissive to men (and sadly, i can't put it down, despite being a staunch feminist). i couldn't help but feel like my patient was attempting to dominate me, like he thought i was his slave, his submissive. only, there was nothing sexy about it! i was irritated and grossed out ALL day.
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