"i'm leaving. i don't care what you say. i hate it here."

i took care of that 22 year old gal yesterday, the one i mentioned last week, with a premie in the NICU in spokane. poor thing. i think she was a bit immature to start with, but then this series of disasters has seemed to set her back a bit. taking care of her is a lot like trying to rationalize with a 5 year old. it's impossible!

she is on the mend; her body has responded to the transplant in the way we hoped. her immune system has started to come back. BUT... she is still extremely vulnerable to infection. she is still on IV antibiotics, not to mention IV sugars, fats, and narcotics. she requires IV anti-nausea medication to prevent her from throwing up, and even still, she gets sick on occasion. and for some reason, she thought it was a good idea to refuse all nursing and medical care and pack up her belongings and try to leave the hospital - ALONE (since her mother was unsupportive of the idea and wouldn't pick her up).

it was an interesting experience. one that involved a lot of patience. i had to involve her primary care provider (a nice visiting doctor from somewhere with a great accent!), the attending, social work, and ME. i spent ALL morning in her room, trying to convince her to stay. having to outline ALL the risks of leaving early, against medical advice. we had to be honest - and tell her that an infection cause cause life-threatening results. and then, i had to pull the baby card, which just felt mean and horrible. but was true. "your baby is sick and needs you to be your best, healthiest self. that means you need to stay here until you are better. do you want your baby to be without a mommy?"

poor little girl. she cried. and demanded to leave anyways. and then, about 15 minutes later, called me into her room, told me she was staying, and asked me to help her get into the shower.