goodbye chris

i climbed mount adams this weekend.  it's the second tallest mountain in washington.  i have now climbed washington's top three peaks - if you don't count mount tahoma, an off-shoot of mount rainier (most lists don't include it).  i suppose it was a good way to conclude my summer - to cross off one more mountain from the list, to spend time outdoors with a dear friend, and to recognize how fortunate i am to be healthy, to feel alive in the outdoors, challenging my body and mind, exerting every last muscle.

after getting home VERY late on sunday night/monday morning, i worked labor day.  typically weekends and holidays are low-key on my unit - less management, less scheduled admissions, and less stress.  but monday turned out to be a sad day...

the patient that i had been writing about - the hoarse gentleman who stole the motorized wheelchair and gave me the best compliment ever - lay intubated in the ICU monday morning when i arrived with three different medications infusing to attempt to keep a life-sustaining blood pressure circulating.  being curious, surprised, sad, and thoughtful, i asked his nurse what had happened.  and to everyone's surprise, chris coded sunday night after struggling to breathe all day.  it was sudden.  he had been doing fantastically, like i mentioned, zipping around, listening to metallica, beating the odds with a positive attitude and amazing outlook on life.

sudden deaths and disasters are not common on our unit.  we are most accustomed to slow, painful demises.  so this one took me by surprise.  but i was thankful that i had a chance to see chris, to hold his hand and tell him how amazing i think he is, to share with him that his spirit moved me and will be remembered.  i was not in the room when chris passed, but i did participate in his post mortem care.  i was able to clean his body with respect and kindness.

chris will never climb mount adams.  he had muscular dystrophy and likely never could have.  but his presence in my life and his wild spirit reminds me to be thankful that i have opportunities and successes, that i see mountains and get to climb them.