day off from nurse patient

for the first time in two months, i got to work today and did not have the nurse patient. she had been assigned to another nurse on my unit the two days prior and so, for his third day, it's not really fair to change his assignment. and to be honest, there was a tiny sense of relief in my heart knowing that i had one day off from caring for a very sick patient with whom i have become very close.

this evening though, her nurse asked me for assistance. he knew the patient trusted me and felt comfortable in my presence. so together we gently assisted the patient back to bed after an embarrassing mess was made. her respiratory rate had increased with the work of climbing into bed and in just moments, i could tell her health had severely declined since thursday when i cared for her last.

tomorrow, i will have the nurse patient. i requested for her to be "mine." and i'd be lying if i didn't acknowledge that in me there is a bit of worry that by tomorrow morning, nurse patient might be in the intensive care. that i may never get a chance to be her nurse again. that patients only survive so long without an immune system and with metapneumovirus, with multiple bacterial infections - gram negative rods and gram positive cocci resembling chains (that's how the lab talks about germs - crazy!).

not sure what i will find tomorrow morning, but i hope i find nurse patient in room 46... where she has been for months. and where she is "healthy" enough for my care.